


You weren't supposed to swerve...

by ukaia_dorei



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blood, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Cussing, Drugging, Funeral, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Implied Character Death, Kidnapping, M/M, New tags, Stockholm syndrome I think?, Suicide Attempt, up to you to decide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:59:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17598248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukaia_dorei/pseuds/ukaia_dorei
Summary: Logan is driving home, the hour is very late, and it's pitch black on the lonely road. He's looking forward to getting home to his beloved Patton when suddenly a shadow materializes in the middle of the road. He has no time to react, jerking the wheel he swerves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first time posting on AO3, though I've read a lot and posted a few things on Tumbler before. I think I got all the warnings down, but if I missed any please let me know and I'll adjust the tags! Sorry my summery kind of sucks! I hope that you enjoy this! Thank you for reading!

It was rather late at night before Logan finished up the paper work that he had to do. He sighed as he stood up from his desk, feeling his body protest from the hours that he'd been sitting hunched over the papers that had to be finished. A soft groan escaped him as he lifted his arms above his head and stretched out his body. Sighing slightly, and feeling a bit looser now he packed his bag and headed for the exit. 

Outside the black of night greeted him. Logan shivered a bit as he felt the cool night air wash over him. He picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. 

"Hi Lo Lo!!" A happy voice answered the phone after only a couple of rings. Logan felt his lips curling up in a warm smile as he heard his husband's voice, the warmth then spread though his chest and heart. He loved his husband so very much.

"Hello Patton. I've just finished up all of my work. I'm on my way to my car now to head home." He said in a calm voice. His steps echoed lightly on the ground of the deserted parking garage. Patton laughed in delight over the line

"Really? You've finished everything, as in Everything everything!?!? Does that mean we can head out a day early?" his bright eager voice rang out. Logan could picture his husband all but jumping in place as he asked, his hands gripping the phone eagerly and his blue eyes shining with excitement. He nodded, then remembering he was on the phone he chucked slightly at his error before speaking. 

"That is correct. I hoped I could finish all of the work tonight, and that way I could add an additional day to our vacation. I didn't say anything about it this morning since I was unsure if I could accomplish all the tasks I needed to. I didn't wish to disappoint you if I did not." He said to him. Reaching his car, his hand fumbled for his keys for a moment, trying to juggle the bag, the phone and getting the keys out with out dropping anything. Smirking in victory he unlocked his car and slid into the chilled seat. He set his bag to the side, and then turned the key in the engine, feeling the car come to life. Patton's squeal of delight made him move the phone from his ear slightly, wincing, but smiling even more. He knew for sure his love was rocking back and forth on his feet, almost prancing in place like an over excited puppy. He grinned at the thought, as he slid the car into drive and began to leave the car garage.

"Oh this is wonderful!! I'm so excited LoLo!! I'm going to have to make you my special hot coco for when you get home! And tomorrow we can head out, and this is going to be such an amazing vacation and you've worked so hard to get it and I can't believe we're finally getting to go on vacation and I'm so excited and--" Patton was cut off by Logan's laugh.

"Breath love. Breath. You'll pass out if you keep up with that ongoing sentence. I am, however, very excited as well. I am quite eager for this vacation that we have worked hard to get. But, even if we were not going anyplace I am looking most forward to my time with you." he said in a softer voice. Patton awwe'd into the phone and Logan felt his face warming slightly. He turned out of the car garage, and after glancing back and forth to ensure no cars were coming, excited onto the main road. Just thirty minuets. Then he would be home and he and Patton would go on the vacation they'd been planning for a year and a half now. Three weeks off both their jobs, a cruise, and then an all inclusive resort. Time just for themselves, away from work and any other troubles. They hadn't had much time just to be together since the Honeymoon, his job keeping him late often with paper work, and Patton's Pet Hospital calling him in on odd hours for emergencies on top of his normal shifts. He smiled again, yes, he was looking forward very much to this time off. 

"As I am driving now love, I will let you go. I shall be home in approximately thirty minuets. I look forward to your hot coco." he added with a soft grin on his lips. Patton laughed in delight and after an exchange of I love you's they hung up. Logan hummed softly to himself as he drove along the road. He made another turn merged onto the highway. The road was almost deserted, hardly anyone was traveling the dark road at this time of night. Logan didn't mind, the quiet and the hum of his car and the road were soothing sounds. His mind was flitting over the last minuet details they would need to take care of before they could head out. He did dislike this stretch of the highway though. The city had been working on the lights, adding in more so at the moment there were no functioning lights along this part. It left the road in pitch black, and he was always relieved when he crossed though. He would be quite pleased when the re-wiring for the lights would be done and this section lit up like the others. He glanced at the dashboard clock, another fifteen minutes and he'd be home. As his eyes turned back to the road, he saw a solid shadow emerge from the inky black, lit up by his headlights. His eyes widened a sharp gasp of air escaping him. He had seconds to react. On instinct he jerked his wheel to the side, feeling the car swerve, hearing the squeal of his tires on the road and feeling the bite of the seat-belt as it locked into place to keep him from jerking around. Then there was the sound of metal crunching...

"Logan love!" Patton's voice rang clear and he snapped his eyes open. Logan blinked confused as he looked around. Patton was beside him, a fruity looking set of drinks in his hands, a wide sun hat on his head and a worried look on his face. 

"Lo Lo you alright?" he asked as he set the drinks down on the table between their chairs. Logan was confused. Hadn't he just been driving? His eyes roamed around, taking in the bright sunlight, the warm sandy beach and the ocean waves lapping at the shore. He himself was dressed in his swim shorts and a tank top, stretched out on a beach chair. He was lost as he shifted and then sat up. 

"I'm.. fine.. " he said, though his voice was unsure. 

"Where.. are we again?" he asked. Patton looked worried as he reached out touching Logan's face and frowning. 

"We're at the resort love. Remember? We've been here for a day or so. You must have dozed off... I wonder if you've gotten a bit too much sun. " he said to him, looking anxious. Logan smiled softly at the worry and love on Patton's face. Of course they were at the resort. He should have remembered that. He brought a hand up to his head, and winced slightly feeling a headache blooming. 

"You might be right love. Perhaps I've had a bit too much sun. I am developing a headache, and i feel a bit disorientated. " he admitted to Patton. Patton nodded and firmly gripped Logan's arm, to help him stand up. Logan was shocked at the pain the tight grip sent though his arm and he bit back a small whimper. 

"Alright then, we're going inside and you're going to get cooled off!" He said firmly. Not giving Logan a chance to protest he began to drag him from the chair. Logan winced at the feeling of the hot sand under his feet. It felt like fire licking the souls of his bare feet as Patton drug him forward. He struggled to keep up, the hands holding his arm hurt and Patton wasn't letting up.

"Patton.. Patton.. You're holding my arm a bit too tight. It hurts.. " he said though grit teeth. Patton simply laughed. 

"No I'm not!" he giggled as he seemed to grip even tighter making Loagan let out a small cry of pain. The heat from the sand was licking up his legs now, not only his feet. Why was the sand so hot? How was Patton gripping his arm so tightly? He really wasn't that strong! Logan tripped and fell, Patton's grip finally broken as he felt himself land face first into the sand. The heat washed over him, he felt like he'd hit his chest on something hard and solid, he could hardly breath. Patton rolled him over and grinned down at him. 

"Silly Logie Bear!" he said

"If you were too hot you should have said something!" he moved out of Logan's line of sight, as he lay on the burning ground struggling to pull in air. Soon he came back, and his flip flop covered foot landed squarely on Logan's chest, pushing him harder into the ground. 

"Here I can cool you down!" he chirped. Slowly he began to pour the fruity drinks from before over Logan's face, and then neck and chest. It did help the burning sensation, but he could barely breath, the smell was sickly sweet, and coppery. What the hell kind of drinks were those

"p.. patton.. i.. i can't.. " Logan gasped out, struggling for breath. Patton sighed and then he tossed the empty cups to the side and dropped down sitting on Logan's stomach, he leaned closer to him.

"You weren't supposed to swerve... " he said quietly, his voice filled with sorrow. Logan looked confused

"Wha.. what?" he asked, still struggling to comprehend what was going on. Something was very wrong, but his head was feeling so muddled, and the headache was splitting his skull open. 

"You weren't' supposed to swerve. " Patton repeated. 

"You ruined everything. You were not supposed to swerve!!" He said anger lacing his voice. Logan couldn't form words, his breathing too restricted, the pain in his chest and head too much for him to focus on anything. 

"Why did you swerve! Why didn't you keep going straight! You idiot! You ruined it all!" Patton's voice was morphing, changing into something deeper, raspier. Logan was lost, this wasn't right. What was happening? 

His eyes slid open, a figure was hunched beside him, the smell of burning rubber and smoke was thick in the air. His chest, head, back legs and arms were screaming in agony. The dark figure next to him was rocking back and forth, gripping his own arms, his breathing coming in increasingly short rapid gasps as he muttered to himself.

"Why did you swerve! It was supposed to be so easy! I had a note explaining everything!" the raspy voice gasped out. Logan coughed slightly, a new shockwave of pain ripped though is body and he groaned, the taste of copper rose up in the back of his throat but he ignored it for the moment. The figure jerked looking at him, his eyes widened seeing that Logan's eyes were open. He scrambled closer to him, hands hovering but not touching, afraid of making things even worse then he had.

"Oh.. Oh Fuck.. fuck you're alive thank fucking god!" the figure said. The figure was sobbing, his own phone held loosely in one hand.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! You weren't supposed to swerve! You were supposed to hit me! I had a note to explain everything! I've already called for an ambulance.. and.. and I had to get you out of the car it caught on fire, and you weren't moving and the flames were at your legs and" his voice droned on, terror and sorrow lacing every word.Logan couldn't bring himself to focus on the words that spilled from the other's mouth. Suddenly there was a pop and then a small BOOM and suddenly the area was lit up even brighter then before, throwing the inky shadow figure into light. Logan could make out wide grey eyes, pale gaunt skin, and dark shadows that leaked down his face. Seemed like the boy was in his late teens, and he was frantically talking and gesturing. Logan couldn't figure it out, his head was throbbing.. his mind was in turmoil. The wail of sirens cut though the air and the boy seemed a little bit relieved to hear them. Logan, wasn't able to focus on them though, his mind was slipping, the pain engulfing him, threatening to drag him under. He needed to talk to Patton. He had to talk to him before he could let that happen! 

"p.. pa.. t.." his lips formed his husband's name. His voice was hardly a whisper but it shut the boy beside him up and he stared wide eyed.

"W.. what?" He asked. Logan focused. He had to talk to Patton.. he needed him to know what was happening.

"Pa... patton..ca..call" he rasped out. The boy stared at him and then his eyes widened and he scrambled off to the side out of Logan's line of sight. It took what felt like forever but he came back, a cracked phone in his shaking hands.

"h.. here. here I have your phone!" he said. Logan whispered out the code to unlock it, he felt his energy draining slowly with every effort. With shaking fingers, the boy managed to input the code and pulled up the contacts. He found the one labeled Patton and dialed it quickly. He held the ringing phone to Logan's ear, since Logan couldn't hold the phone himself.

"Logan hunny! You're running a bit late? Did you stop someplace for something?" Patton's voice rang out clear, playful and full of life and energy and love. Logan felt his lips twitch in a smile, and he tried to speak, a rasping gasp of air was all that escaped him at first. So he tried again.

"Pat.. ton.. " he managed. Patton sucked in a sharp breath of air at the sound of Logan's whispered rasp.

"Logan.. Logan.. love.. you.. you're scaring me.. what's going on?" he asked. Logan felt guilty.. but hearing Patton's voice was soothing.. he latched onto it.. his eyes starting to flutter shut against his will.

"No dude! No stay awake! The ambulance is nearly here!" the figure in black cried out, though the tone said he was hoping the ambulance was almost there, instead of knowing for sure. Patton gasped on the phone having heard it the shout. Logan could hear the phone creaking in his lovers tight grip. 

"Logan! Logan what is he talking about! Logan! Answer me!!" Patton cried out over the phone. Logan couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, he focused all his energy into speaking. He had to say it before he was pulled unconscious!

".. l.. love...yh ..." he managed to get out. Logan was relieved he got to say that at the very least. Pain was overwhelming him, even though he could feel hardly anything in his arms and legs... the headache was splitting his skull and his entire body was demanding he sleep. The pull of unconscious was not easy to ignore, he could feel the blackness already wrapping around him and dragging him down. 

"Logan! No Logan!! Come on.. talk to me!!! LOGAN!!" Patton's voice screamed trying desperately to keep him in hear and now, but Logan was pulled into the inky depths of unconsciousness, Patton's voice ringing in his ears.


	2. Smile though the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Second Chapter for this story! I plan to make a third one as well, though I'm not sure when I'll get around to it, I am really very slow in trying to make sure things look and flow well. I hope you are patient with me while I try to sort it out!
> 
> Still, I hope this brings you entertainment!! And since I don't want to give away too much of the story here... I'll see you at the end notes!! But I will put the relevant warnings here!
> 
> These are new warnings for the chapter. PLEASE READ THEM BEFORE READING THE STORY!!!!
> 
> \-----------------------------------------Warnings-----------------------------  
> Mentions of drugging, being held against one's will, delusion, flashbacks to the accident, mentioning blood, mentioning the suicide attempt, mention of a funeral  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please make sure you read all the new warnings for this chapter guys! Stay safe!!!
> 
> To restate the warnings!!!!
> 
> Mentions of drugging, being held against one's will, delusion, flashbacks to the accident, mentioning blood, mentioning the suicide attempt, mention of a funeral

Patton hummed as he made his way home. The sun was bright outside, and he had gotten Logan his favorite Crofters, Loganberry of course!! He grinned to himself as he wondered if he should make some thumbprint cookies with them. He thought Logan might like them. But then he'd have to hide the jar from him. well...he had gotten two jars.. perhaps he could hide one and make the thumbprint cookies with the other! Yes that was perfect. Logan would get his treat and then he could have his surprise! 

Patton giggled as he was pleased with his plan. He pulled into his parking spot, and gathered up the bags of groceries. Most of them Logan's favorites, he was trying so hard to make Logan happy now. Ever since the accident Patton had picked up so much trying to make sure Logan was happy. His smile faltered for a moment as he remembered, he'd beaten the ambulance to the wreck.. Logan laying out on the cold pavement, blood pooling around him, pale.... Patton shook his head his stomach turning. No.. nO he wasn't going to think of that night! His Logan was aright! He had made it! True.. the accident had left him... different.. changed in so many ways, but he was still the man that Patton loved! He would do anything for Logan.. even when... even when he didn't even act like himself. When he didn't seem to remember who Patton was, didn't remember that he loved Crofters jam, that they were married. Patton stilled, tears stinging his eyes, his chest tightened and his stomach twisted, he forced himself to take slow breaths. Well that.. it was.. was fine, Patton could fix him up!! Logan just needed care, and love and rest! He would be himself again!! Patton just had to keep at it, and he would... he would.. someday remember.. Patton was sure of it. He'd do anything at all for Logan!! He would care for him for the rest of his life!! Patton wiped at his eyes, it always made Logan sad when he saw the tears, even if he didn't seem to know or understand why Patton was sad, it made Logan sad, so Patton made sure to hide them. Bracing himself a bit more, he plastered a beaming smile on his lips as he skipped up the stairs to the door of their home. Patton fished out his keys, he stood on his tip toes 

"Reach to the sky and you'll never cry" He sung to himself and disarmed the motion alarm from the very top of the door. Any time the door was jostled it sent an alert to his phone. He had it installed when he realized Logan kept trying to leave and go to work, or search for him, or attend school. His poor love.. the reasons were always jumbled. Logan could never seem to understand why he couldn't go out and do those things, why he was to stay at home. It hurt Patton so much to see him that way, but he had to do it. If Logan left the house alone in the state he was in, he was likely to get lost or even more hurt! Patton couldn't let him leave, couldn't let him get hurt again!! So he'd had the sensor installed at the top so he'd know if it was one of those days. Thankfully they seemed to be happening less and less now! Then he straightened and moved to the first deadbolt on the door.

Click- "One lock undone, to welcome in the sun" He sung under his breath to himself, he slid the key out and moved to the next lock on the door, rocking gently back and forth on his feet. The bags on his arms swayed with the motion, and he could hear the jam jars clinking gently together. He smiled thinking of making the surprise cookies.

Click- "Second one gone, Lolo can do no wrong" Patton giggled as the key slid out of that lock. Of course Logan could do no wrong, he was perfect and amazing! Patton just had to remind him of that! He hated that he had added this second lock. Logan had become frantic one day when Patton was at work, he'd gotten so confused, he seemed to have thought Patton was missing! He'd managed to actually break open the door after battering it for who knew how long!! Patton had been horrified to see his love, bruised and trying to get to him, so exhausted from his fear and breaking open the door, he couldn't even stand. He'd been crawling on the ground. Patton pushed the memory away as he moved to the next one. He knelt down on the ground to undo it from the bottom of the door.

Click- "Third bolt open and he won't be a mope--en" the silly song continued. Patton laughed, open was difficult to rhyme! But he managed it Roman would have been proud of his last moment save there. He really should make a day to spend some time with Roman.. he hadn't seen him in a few months. Patton shook his head focusing back on the locks, he'd think about Roman later, Logan was waiting for him. You never could be too careful, he had thought that the first two locks and the motion sensor should be enough, but this was for his own peace of mind. He really did hate how he had to lock Logan in, but he had to. Logan simply couldn't be out and about on his own. Patton stood back up and put his keys in his pocket as he opened up the door.

"Logan I'm home!!" he called out, listening for any unusual sounds. No crying, no pacing on the floor, Logan wasn't rushing up to him asking him where he'd been, why he'd left him alone. In fact Patton was thrilled to hear.. was that.. IT WAS!! Classical music was playing! His eyes brightened, it must be a good day! Excitedly he went to the kitchen and set down the bags, then put the keys in the little side drawer. He hurried down the hall to the office, his heart thumping quickly in his chest. 

Patton's heart melted as he saw his LoLo, sitting quietly in the chair, his eyes closed as he listened to the classical music playing over the speakers. He smiled softly seeing the papers spread out before him. Logan must have been working, today was one of the days he thought he still worked. It was so precious.. so wonderful to see his Logan marking the papers, and typing on the lap top as though the accident had never happened. It was true that Logan couldn't work anymore, but on days like this, when his mind was sure he was working normally, Patton had carefully set up his office with a dummy lap top that had no internet to it. He'd made copies of all the paperwork Logan had ever brought home so that Logan could think he was working. Patton even went into the lap top after Logan went to bed and would sometimes write up new fake e-mails from colleges, so that Logan could have new things to respond to on days like this. So that he wouldn't panic seeing sent messages and no responses. Patton had to talk him out of some very nasty panic attacks before he'd learned that was one of the things that triggered Logan, confusion why his work wouldn't respond, he'd spiraled wondering if his job was in danger, what he'd done wrong, how he would continue to support Patton. Patton had made sure every time now to either erase the false emails, or make responses. It kept his LoLo happy, thinking he was working hard. It made days like this, when his Logan was so much like his old self, worth every painstaking effort Patton went though.

Patton walked in slowly, Logan's head was leaned back in the chair, his lips slightly parted, the glasses a little askew on his face. He giggled softly as he realized that Logan wasn't actually listening to the music. His poor love had dozed off in the chair! Oh that was simply too adorable! He slipped his phone out and took a quick picture of him. The small snap of the camera taking the picture was enough to rouse Logan from his doze. 

"nnmnn?" He groaned, lifting his head, his eyes fluttering open. Patton winced internally, he shouldn't have woken him, sleeping with out any nightmares or troubles was so difficult. Still he smiled gently getting closer, keeping his footsteps light. 

"Hello Love.. " he whispered. Logan blinked at Patton, his eyes a bit glassy and unfocused, still caught in the dregs of sleep. Then he smiled a little bit at him as he seemed to focus in for a few moments. 

"patton " he mumbled, his voice thick and heavy. Patton smiled even warmer. He picked up his lovers hand and gently kissed the back of it. 

"That's me Logan. You fell asleep while working. Why don't you come and lay down in the living room, take a little break. I can put a movie on for you and you can get some well deserved rest while I make dinner. "he said, keeping his voice low and gentle. Logan seemed to consider Patton's words, his eyes turning back to the paperwork spread out infront of him on the desk, and the lap top, open and patiently waiting for him to answer the e-mails, then back to Patton's patient loving gaze. 

"That... sounds lovely.. " He muttered. Patton beamed and gently helped Logan stand from the chair. He wrapped his arm around his waist, putting Logan's arm around his shoulder. Logan really didn't move as well as he used to anymore, and especially not after dozing off while sitting like that. He spoke to Logan about his day at work, how one of the puppies had given birth and everyone was trying to come up with names for the tiny balls of fluff. He told him about the playground near his job, and how the flowers were starting to bloom again, filling the ground with the colors of spring. As he got Logan settled down on the couch, he pulled the galaxy blanket over his slender form and tucked it around him. 

"my.. favorite blanket... ?" Logan said suddenly, as if curious, as if he was unsure of that information. Patton looked back at him and he nodded, a happy loving smile gracing his lips. 

"yes.. that's right Logan. You love that blanket so much, you said it reminds you of your love of the stars, and something else. Do you remember?" he asked. Logan seemed to think on his words, his fingers rubbing over the edge of the fluffy blanket before he nodded very slowly. 

"Y.. yes.. It.. I got it.. "the words were halting, unsure. Patton waked over and knelt down beside Logan, he looked at him with wide hopeful eyes as Logan struggled to remember. Patton remained quiet and hopeful as he let Logan try to gather his thoughts, and memories.

"I got it.. after our first date... under.. under the stars.. the.. the stars on this blanket.. are very close.. to the ones that were in the sky that night?" he asked. He looked to Patton, that was.. it wasn't it? That's why he loved this blanket so much. It broke Patton's heart to see his love so unsure of his own memories. He smiled and cupped Logan's cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin gently. Logan's breath hitched for a moment. 

"yes, yes that is exactly right my love." he said to him as he leaned forward and brushed a very gentle kiss over his forehead. Logan let out a content sigh and his body relaxed. 

"I'm so proud of you for remembering that. You rest here, I've got the newest nature documentary dvd loaded in, you can rest here and watch it while I make dinner alright?" he said he ran his fingers though his lover's dark locks. He could feel tears stinging the edges of his own eyes. Oh he was so happy Logan had remembered that! He'd forgotten so many times before. Patton had told him the story every time, how they had gone out on the first date, how shy Logan had been, how he'd taken Patton to a hill and had a picnic with him. He had been so embarrassed when Patton had seen the blanket and said how much he loved it, and Logan had told him why he'd bought it. Patton had felt so touched back then, and he felt just as touched now. Logan nodded in agreement and seemed to curl up in the fuzzy blanket, the documentary now playing, talking about the habitats of bee's. Patton stood and headed for the kitchen, his heart brimming with love. 

Logan lay on the couch, his heart thudding heavily in his chest, his hand shaking as they clutched the blanket. He'd gotten it right. He'd finally remembered the information correctly on the first try. He was so relieved, Patton always got so upset when he was wrong. He shuddered as he curled on himself once more, his body heavy, and his mind hazy. The voice on the tv was droning on and on, and he could hear Patton moving in the kitchen making dinner. Cautiously Logan reached up and loosened the tie around his neck, he felt like he was gasping for air with it up there, cinched so tightly at the top. But Patton told him that was how he always wore it. That if he dressed and did the things he'd done before, that some day he'd remember everything. Logan knew this was a lie. He would never remember everything, there was simply too much to remember. Too many details, too many shared memories that Patton wanted him to remember. He was asking the impossible of him!!

Hot tears began to prick at his eyes and he hurried to wipe them away with the blanket. Patton didn't like to see him cry, Logan didn't express his emotions very well. Patton told him over and over he had to be more like himself if he was ever going to remember anything. Logan hated it, he hated every moment of this, but he couldn't fight back anymore. He didn't have the energy to do so, he didn't have the will. All he could do was try to make Patton happy. Try to endure until he could get away from him, away from this place, and try to remember who he really was. That accident had ruined everything, and he was paying so much more then he'd ever thought before. 

Virgil stifled a small helpless sob into the blanket that Patton had wrapped around him. He knew it had been at least a year and a half now since that day. The day he'd tried to kill himself, the day Logan had swerved and bled out on the pavement after Virgil had drug him from the burning car. A year and a half as Logan had breathed his last as breath while Patton had wrapped his arms around him, getting soaked in the blood, begging him to stay, to not leave him.. telling him he couldn't live with out him, pleading and bargaining promising anything.. anything at all as long as Logan stayed with him The paramedics had pulled Logan's body from Patton's arms, and they had tried... but they knew it was already too late. Virgil had only been able to sit to the side, shell shocked at the grief and loss he saw before him, because of.. him. Patton's scream of pain and loss haunted his every waking moment as the paramedics had apologized and stepped away from Logan's body.

The funeral was held two weeks later, and Virgil had attended it, he felt he had to, he needed to try and apologize to Patton for stealing his love from him. He had to explain what was supposed to have happened, he would show him the carefully written and laminated note, excusing Logan (or well who ever would have hit him) from any wrong doing. Explaining how it was all his own fault, and they had simply been his chosen method to end his life. How he hoped that the driver could some day forgive him for putting him though this, and thanking him for ending his own pain. Patton hadn't seemed to recognize him at first. But as Virgil had spoken, he seemed to finally understand who Virgil was. Virgil held his breath, he'd expected screaming, yelling, cursing.. even being struck by the other man. But instead.. he'd been invited back to his home. Patton said he wanted to help Virgil... that Logan would have wanted him to do that. With a tear filled smile Patton had told him if his living situation was so bad, he could stay with Patton until things got better for him.

Virgil had been awe struck. He'd been in shock, he didn't know how to respond, until Patton had finally pulled him into his arms, and they sobbed together. Just a few days later, Virgil had arrived at Patton's home, he had all his belongings in a backpack and one duffel bag. Patton had welcomed him in. He'd ushered Virgil to the guest room, and had him set his things down. And things had gone well.. at first. But then Virgil noticed things, the way Patton would look at him sometimes, how he'd speak to Virgil but say Logan's name. Virgil had let it slide occasionally, he assumed it was the grief. As it continued and increased in frequency he started to correct Patton gently. Patton had always apologized, and they had moved on from it.

That was until the day he'd woken up tied to a chair, his head throbbing and dressed in a dead man's clothing. 

Patton's smile had been too wide then, too manic, his eyes had looked though Virgil, not really seeing him sitting there. That was until he'd focused once more. He'd explained that he forgave Virgil, that he didn't blame him, that it was OK. Everything was fine now, because Virgil would get what he'd wanted. Virgil was going to die, and he would be Patton's Logan!! Patton was so excited, he was so happy he had found a way to keep Logan with him! It fit them both perfectly!! Patton started to teach Virgil all about Logan, how he did his hair, how he spoke, he made Virgil watch hours and hours of home movies, he gave him food that Logan liked. And when Virgil had resisted, had refused to cooperate with him... Patton had gotten upset. He'd yelled at him, screamed at him and told him that it was all his fault his Logan had died. That he had to take responsibility, Virgil wanted to die anyway!! So why couldn't he just die and be Logan! This had gone on for at least two months, an endless cycle of being forced to repeat movies, and lessons on what Logan was like, and how he had lived. And then Patton had made a mistake. He hadn't tied Virgil to the chair properly after his allotted bathroom time, he'd been rushing having been called to work for an emergency. After giving Virgil a kiss on the cheek and telling him good bye he'd left. 

Virgil had held his breath, after ten minuets of waiting, waiting to see if Patton would come back... Virgil took his chance. He managed to wiggle free of the bindings and stumbled to his feet. He was weaker then before, having been not allowed much mobility, his body was stiff. Still he'd managed to get to the door, and he got it open, he was going to run. Far far away from this psycho!! From all of this! 

He got to the front gate before Patton's car had pulled back up to the house and Virgil had frozen, staring wide eyed at Patton. Then he bolted, or at least he tried to, his stiff sore body had crumpled before he got three steps. Patton caught him, and brought him back into the house. Reassuring Virgil that everything was fine, he was back, Logan didn't have to worry anymore, he'd take care of the scrapes and bruises for him. Virgil never knew what had brought Patton back so quickly, what item he'd forgotten that had ruined his chance of escape. The alarm was put on the door after that, and he knew new bolts were added. Bars were put on all the windows and Patton had sighed once it was all done. 

"I'm so sorry Logan " he'd said, caressing Virgil's cheek, he stared at Virgil as if he was actually sad.

"But since you can't remember, you can't keep things straight"Patton's eyes widened as he realized how accusing his tone had sounded and he'd spoken quickly in a reassuring voice, cupping Virgil's face in his hands, staring earnestly in his.. Logan's eyes. 

"It's not your fault!! It's not your fault at all! I promise you love, but you have to stay in the house. You can't go out with out me. I know you're confused, but it's aright love.. I'll always be here for you. I'll help you remember everything.. I promise! No matter how long it takes! I promise I won't stop helping you! " Patton had said. Virgil knew in that moment that Patton didn't see Virgil before him anymore. He only saw Logan.. it had been that way ever since. Patton took everything Virgil said, and repeated back only what Logan would have said, he made him dress as Logan, he gave him foods that Logan loved, he made him watch the things Logan had watched. Virgil was fairly sure that he was drugging him as well, he always felt weak, lightheaded. His body never seemed to have the strength it needed anymore. He was always tired, he had fought back for so long. Sometimes, like today, he'd given into the request. That morning Patton had mentioned how much he missed Logan playing his classical music while he worked in his office. Virgil had learned that when Patton said things like this, that was what he wanted to come home to. More often then not Virgil refused to play along, to do whatever Patton had 'wished" for that day. Patton had always sighed, sad and resigned that Logan had a "confused day" again when Virgil wasn't where he wanted him to be. The first time that Virgil had given in, been in the place that Patton had "wished" Logan would be that day, things had been so different. Patton had been delighted, he'd cooed and fussed over Virgil, he'd pampered him so much more then he did any other time. Virgil had been angry at himself, angry that he had given in, angry that Patton treated him differently, angry.. just angry. Anger was hard to keep up though over the months, and more and more frequently, he listened to Patton's "daily wish" of Logan. He hated how he began to enjoy the extra attention. He would make himself refuse multiple times again after each one, though every time, the length between his giving in became shorter and shorter.

As he lay on the couch now, wrapped in a warm blanket, his head light and fuzzy, the sound of Patton's soft humming in the background.. he realized how.. nice.. it was, and how he no longer felt any anger at all at the extra special treatment. When had all the anger dried up? When had he truly come to long for the extra attention, the proud and happy look that Patton gave him when he got information about Logan and Patton's life right.

Virgil looked at the tv.. he was tired, so very... very tired.... and Patton... patton loved Logan..he loved Logan with every fiber of his being, there wasn't even an ounce of doubt that Patton still loved Logan. And... and.. wasn't that what Virgil had always wanted anyway? He had wanted so much to be loved the way Patton loved Logan. His unfocused eyes stared at the blobs of color on the tv. Patton was offering that to him, all he had to do... was be Logan, let Virgil die and fade away. He knew so much about Logan now. Patton was willing to teach him over and over.. always patient... always with a loving look, tender touches, no matter how many times he go the dates or information wrong. And he praised him so much when he got it right. It made Virgil feel warm.. inside, made him feel full in a way he never had before. He liked the praise, the full feeling, and he wanted more of it. Some small part of him was screaming, screaming he couldn't give in, he had to keep fighting. Patton would slip up again one day, he could get free one day. 

Virgil sat up very slowly, the blanket pooling around his waist. He looked back at Patton, at the house, at the tv, at his own hands.... and then silenced the voice. 

Logan stood up slowly from the couch, his footsteps unsteady, his head spinning. He stumbled slightly into the end table, nearly knocking the lamp over. Patton turned and made a distressed sound running to his side quickly. He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and held him.

"Logan!! Logan love, why are you up! I could have gotten you anything if you'd just asked!" He said as he supported the thin body under his hands. Patton felt his heart stutter and then freeze as Logan smiled at him, looking him in the eyes (the first time in the eyes directly, in months!! ) as he spoke. 

"i.. i wanted to join you.. " he said, his voice weak and unsteady. Patton felt his heart starting to hammer in his chest. 

"to watch you.. cooking .... and.. and perhaps.. have some Crofters... L.. loganberry.. if you have any?" he asked. His voice small and unsure. Patton felt the tears spilling over his face. Logan.. his logan.. Oh he was coming back to him!! Patton could hardly breath from the joy he felt. Finally, after so long.. finally it felt like his Logan was going to start to truly recover. He could heal and he could be his Logan again! Sure there would be bumps still, but that was fine, Logan wasn't resisting him anymore, he could see it in his eyes, he trusted Patton completely! 

"yes.. Yes of course I have some, and you can come watch me cook." he said, his voice wavering and filled with joy. A sob escaped him as he pulled Logan tightly into his arms, holding him, so very happy that things were going right finally.

Virgil smiled.. NO.. no.. he wasn't Virgil anymore.. he was Logan. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around Patton's trembling form, leaning on him taking in the warmth offered. 

"i...I'm h..here I'm here now.. pa..patton.. thank you.. for being so patient.. waiting for me... teaching me.." Logan said. Patton laughed and kissed him on the lips.

"Welcome home Logan" he whispered.

Everything was fine now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story, and the twist!! 
> 
> I thought I'd make this the "Sad ending" story! Logan dies, and Patton can't cope, poor Virgil pays the price.
> 
> I do plan on writing a Happy ending story where Logan lives!! I promise. I like ending stories on happy (ish) notes when I'm going to do something that has two possible endings. So I figured I'd do the Loss first, and then we can have the true Love!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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